Thicker Than
by JediKnightBalthasar
Summary: Legolas has not seen Elrohir in years. When he visits Imladris, it is as though no time has passed for Elrohir--but not so for Legolas. How can he admit that he has broken his word? Not slash. Companion to Cold Steel
1. Default Chapter

This is a story for Lili  
For Nina  
For Lea  
For an apology.  
This is a story.  
It is an apology.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any characters and/or places  
thereof  
Author's note: I can't say how much of this will be in poem. Sorry. For  
now, it's a poem, and later it may change. This story goes in the Naikele  
series:  
Cold Steel  
Forever Mithril  
Thicker Than  
Nightly Gleams the Blade  
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. For those of you not familiar with the  
series, most of the stories can stand on their own but this one goes very  
closely with Cold Steel.  
*****  
I am  
I am  
I am  
I am riding in the rain  
The rain is  
Rain is  
Rain is soaking into my clothes  
My clothes are  
Clothes are  
Clothes are so wet against my skin  
It almost hurts  
Almost.  
But then a lot of things  
Almost  
hurt.  
Some things really do.  
You and I, buddy, you and I together  
We can take pain, can't we?  
We can weather the storms.  
We're invincible.  
You and me together.  
In the distance in my mind in my heart in time ahead  
In the space ahead of me I can see a light winking  
It is a destination an ending a beginning a safehaven a solace  
It is  
It is  
It is not my home  
It is my destination but  
It is not my home.  
Why would I be going to my home?  
Why would I be going there when I am headed I set out for I want to go  
There.  
If I try to get there too quickly my horse will tire  
It will take another day and I will have to spend a miserable  
Cold  
Lonely  
For ever  
Night in the wind and rain.  
To pass the time I trot, rising trot, rhythmic--  
Up-forward-down-up-forward-down-up-forward-down. . .  
After ten posts I switch diagonals but I do it wrong  
Now my rhythm has changed:  
Up-forward-down-SMACK-up-forward-down-SMACK-up-forward-down-SMACK  
I fix my rhythm  
But keep on posting  
It feels so right so good so natural so--  
So easy!  
I switch to a canter, rhythmically faster:  
Upforwarddownupforwarddown--  
After a while even this  
Is too  
Easy.  
The stirrups, I think, and I  
Kick my feet  
Free of their bindings  
And I  
Keep posting  
With my feet hanging free  
I didn't used to be able to do this  
I can do this now  
Look at me!  
My legs are beginning to feel tired  
I keep on posting keep on cantering keep on feeding this fire keep on going  
After a time I  
Stop  
And put my feet back in the stirrups  
Slow my horse to a walk  
And I think to myself  
How beautiful the rain sounds  
How it sounds so soft so innocent somehow even so lonely yet so many pieces  
all at once a symphony an orchestra a million players a hundred children a  
thousand arrows a thousand swords--  
Intricately laced are the million  
Different sounds  
The slow drops falling from branches of trees sliding from leaves dripping  
from my boots slipping off rocks  
Some are not stopped hit the ground without anything standing in their way  
smashing sounds hitting sounds violent raindrops smashing hitting crashing--  
  
There are other raindrops  
There are some that just return to the stream and fit right in and are as  
one and are a family and are friends and are lovers and flow smoothly and  
are in their place a place for every one and every one in some place and  
aren't they lucky and why can we be so unlike them and so like the  
violence, violent violent hitting smashing crashing down and I just wonder  
I look up and the light the light in the distance the light in my heart the  
light in mind my light  
The light my light has gone out  
Or at least has gone  
Gone from me  
I cannot see  
Where am I going now?  
Where am I now?  
Where will I be then?  
Then suddenly because I am  
Because I am  
Because my mind is  
Is so  
So distracted  
Because I am my mind is so distracted I don't see the branch until  
It is slapping me in the face  
Dragging across my face  
Slimy wet leaves and rough violent rough painful bark and it hurts so bad I  
think maybe maybe I should feel but then this pain, is this pain real or am  
I imagining am I really here am I really wet and cold and does my face  
really hurt quite this much that I cannot feel the pain I ought to feel?  
The branch is gone and in front of me right in front my eyes right in my  
distorted vision I see I see  
A light  
I see the light  
I see my light  
My light my destination my ending my beginning my haven my solace  
The light is close now  
So close  
So near  
And I  
I am so near to it  
So near to my light  
So close to my destination  
Just a few more steps and I can--  
Here! There.  
I dismount, legs slipping on the muddy ground fall down and ouch and  
squelch and maybe I should have worn different pants I like these ones I  
should have worn ones I don't like but too late for that  
Regain my balance my footing stand back up  
Grab the reins, take them, take the reins, take control, lead my horse  
Lead my horse to the stables  
Nice and warm  
For a minute I have to pause as it hits me  
I am standing  
Dripping  
Soaking  
Dripping water onto the floor  
Water dripping from my  
Clothes  
My hair  
My hands  
All of me  
All of me wet  
The stables, though  
The stables are so so warm so comfortable so bright so friendly and I do  
something  
Something I rarely do  
Something I thought I would never  
Never do again  
I smile.  
I smile.  
I smile because I am  
Because I am  
I am happy.  
I am happy to be here, in these warm stables bright stables friendly  
stables in this home the home of a friend the home of solace the home of  
redemption the home of peace the home of healing the home  
Home.  
All of me is happy and that is why I why I why I smile  
I smile because all of me is happy.  
What a picture, I think, what an image I must be standing here  
With the door open and the storm raging behind me and the lightning still  
striking and the thunder still rumbling and here I am, here is me,  
Smiling.  
Like I've nothing in the world  
But peace  
And now, my friend, now that is so.  
now I have nothing but peace.  
So here is me:  
Here is a boy with wet hair hanging around framing his face  
Here is a boy looking ahead and seeing nothing  
Here is a boy with wet dripping clothes  
Here is a boy standing in the mixing of the smells of hay and horse and  
lightning and rain  
Here is a boy smiling  
Here is a boy happy.  
Here is a boy.  
Suddenly even through my happiness I know I cannot  
Cannot just stand here  
All day  
All night  
Cannot just stand here  
Framed by the darkness beyond  
Yellow hair glowing  
Cannot just stand here because  
I have a horse that needs to be  
Stable  
Untacked  
Fed  
Watered  
Groomed  
And all of these things these tasks the responsibilities  
I embrace them  
I face them  
I complete them  
And by the time the horse  
Is rolling in sweet fresh sawdust is coating his coat in a coat of wood  
I am suddenly free of responsibilities  
I am suddenly free to  
Roll in the hay  
Race through the stables  
Dance in the rain.  
I am free to skip  
I am free to sing  
I am free to be  
Happy  
So happy  
So happy it feels like  
Feels as good as  
Sin.  
I stand on my hands  
I am silent  
I am loud  
I am vibrant  
I am exuberance  
I climb up atop a stack of hay  
Bundles of hay all tied up  
Tied up all nice and neat and organized  
I climb on top and I jump  
I jump to the ground below  
When I hit the ground I fall  
I roll  
I laugh like mad  
I am having fun  
I am living life  
I am  
I am  
Insane?  
Maybe.  
Does it matter  
If I can be happy and jump from the hay and turn cartwheels and skip and  
sing and be  
So  
Free  
So for a minute I cannot say exactly  
Who it is  
That I am  
Maybe even that you are  
Perhaps even  
I cannot say where I am  
But of course you know  
You know, so I will forget  
Just for a minute or two or three or. . .  
My next jump from atop the hay  
I see you standing  
In the doorway  
Watching me and looking  
Puzzled  
Standing in your pyjamas watching me  
Holding an umbrella over your head  
Looking slightly strange with a black umbrella pyjamas of plaid flannel--  
Naturally I have the same ones--  
And your boots tied on without any socks  
You look so funny that I laugh  
And I cry  
"It has been too long!"  
and you set down your umbrella  
and you say  
"By the Valar, you might have told me  
you got here  
I could have helped you  
stable your mount."  
"Wet blanket," I tease  
because I am soaking  
and you are dry  
Remind me, friend:  
Is this funny?  
I think it is.  
You laugh so I laugh too.  
Then we embrace,  
You so nice and dry and warm and clean  
Me so wet and dirty and cold and sweaty  
And we just fit.  
You know how these things are.  
We fit.  
"Too long, Legolas," you say, slapping my shoulder  
I realize that I am  
Taller than you  
I never realized that  
Before.  
"Were you this short last time?"  
I mean it but it sounds so  
Absurd  
That we both laugh  
And you say,  
"Shut up, Legolas. Carry your things  
"I'll carry the umbrella  
"And let's go inside.  
"It's late. Ada is not going to be happy about this."  
"Really?" worried.  
"Aw, come on. Ada always said you could visit  
"And you know he loves when you do  
"So quit worrying."  
"Hey, 'Ro?"  
"Yes'm?"  
"Forget it, 'Ro." I grin. It feels strange.  
"Let's go in."  
****  
To be continued 


	2. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any recognizable characters and/or places thereof  
  
Reginabean: Well, I tried it. My English teacher liked it. I'm doing this chapter in prose. . .not sure where it will go from there.  
  
Kaimelieamin: Yay! Thank you! And may The Sandman visit you for all eternity.  
  
soulsearcher-arbariel: Hehe. Thanks. I'm actually on fictionpress.net, only I prefer Lord of the Rings. I'm sure you know what I mean?  
  
Author's Note: I would just like to make absolutely clear that this is NOT slash fiction.  
  
*****  
  
Legolas and Elrohir pass as quickly as possible to the house, laughing as they scrunch together beneath the umbrella, both grasping the handle, Legolas stooped to fit. Heavy droplets trickle off the edges, and the boys can hear them as the slide across the fabric stretched just above their heads. They giggle and laugh as they squelch through the mud up to the house, hurrying yet at the same time not.  
  
"Here, hold the umbrella," Elrohir says, placing it in his friend's hands, as he pulls a small key from his pocket and pulls open one of the double front doors. Elrohir takes back the umbrella and holds open the door for Legolas, who ducks gratefully indoors. Following, Elrohir closes the umbrella and leans against the inner wall. Legolas has already plopped himself on the ground and is unlacing his boots. They giggle again, for no reason. "Hush," Elrohir manages to whisper through his laughter. "My siblings and parents are yet asleep, quiet."  
  
"Or, siblings and parent," says Elrond, having appeared behind the two as though by magic, a bemused smile on his lips. "Hello, Legolas. It is good to see you again."  
  
"Good to see you, too, Lord Elrond," replies Legolas, in one dizzying motion getting to his feet, bowing respectfully, then retreating back to the floor to peel off his second boot and both of his grey woolen socks. Elrohir,, who did not even tied up his boots to begin with, places his toes firmly on his heels and yanks his feet free. Once both boys are out of their boots (and socks, in Legolas's case), they stand side by side and try hard not to grin. Then, realizing, Legolas exclaims, "I left my bag in the stables!"  
  
"Legolas!" Elrohir exclaimed, laughing and slapping his friend playfully.  
  
"Elrohir!" Legolas returned, giving the Elfling a light punch on the arm.  
  
"All right, you two," Elrond says, separating them before anything serious happens. "You are both tired, and need to get to bed. Can you wait until morning to talk more to each other, and spare the entire house a night of waking to shrieking adolescent boys?"  
  
"Yes, Ada," Elrohir replies.  
  
"Yes, Lord Elrond," Legolas says at the time. They laugh again.  
  
"Elrohir, may Legolas borrow some things for the night, and fetch his own tomorrow, when it is not quite so wet out?" Elrond asks, completely efficient.  
  
"Of course," Elrohir says. "Come on, Legolas. Do you remember where my room is?"  
  
"No; I have the memory of a gnat. Yes I remember!" Legolas replies with indignance. Elrohir takes his hand and begins to lead him. Legolas looks once over his shoulder and calls, "Good night, Lord Elrond! Sorry to arrive so late!"  
  
"Quite all right, Legolas," the elder Elf replies.  
  
"Say, Elrohir, why do we not race?" Legolas asks with glee, and takes off at once. Elrohir chases after his friend, disappearing around a corner and leaving a rather amused Elf Lord in their wake.  
  
*****  
  
"Here." Elrohir opens a drawer in his dresser and draws out a pair of flannel pants and a shirt, handing them to Legolas. "These should fit you. Careful with where you put your pants, though, they are covered in mud."  
  
Legolas blushes, having nearly forgotten about the pants. Without a word he strips off his wet and soiled clothing and pulls on Elrohir's flannels. Nonetheless he shivers just slightly, because it really is cold. The two look at each other and grin, biting their lips to keep from laughing out loud at the comedy of their very appearance: two damp Elves, fair f skin, one pale-headed and the other raven-haired, one grey-eyed and the other blue, looking as different as could be, and yet together, so very perfectly the same.  
  
"Bed?" Legolas suggests, feeling as though a moment more will cause him to explode with laughter that will undoubtedly wake the entire population of Imladris. Elrohir nods mutely and blows out the candles on the dresser, the only light in the room. "Oh, wonderful," replies Legolas sarcastically.  
  
"Whoops, sorry," says Elrohir, but his voice grins. Legolas lunges for his friend, searching with sense of sound only. Elrohir dodges, and Legolas skids across the floor, getting up angrily and brushing himself off only moments later. Elrohir wishes he could see his friend now, but dares not risk lighting a candle. If Legolas sees him, it might very well mean death.  
  
Meanwhile, Legolas stands poised, ready for battle, his ears pricked to perceive the smallest of sounds. When Elrohir moves his heel, pivoting, Legolas hears, and he knows just where Elrohir is--and he lunges. With a loud crashing noise the boys tumble to the ground, Legolas on top of Elrohir, pinning him down. Elrohir has the advantage of constant wrestling with his twin, however, and manages to flip Legolas onto his back. Just as Elrohir is about to jam his knees into Legolas's elbows and insist that he admit defeat, Legolas remembers a tactic his brother used to use against him--he catches Elrohir's knee and twists it, so that Elrohir is once again on his back.  
  
Lying on the ground in their flannels, panting, the boys feel their chests rise, feel their blood pulse, and know that each is in time with the other. "Truce?" asks Legolas in a scratchy voice. The cold and the darkness are just beginning to revive the boys.  
  
"All right," Elrohir agrees, and they shake awkwardly on this. Just as they are getting up, leaning against each other, Legolas slips, and once again they are in a jumbled heap on the floor.  
  
"What the. . .? Elrohir! Legolas!"  
  
Elrond stands in the doorway, a candle in one hand and the same absent, tired, amused expression on his face as he watches his son untangle himself from his friend. The two manage to stand, sweating and smiling, and although he was a bit angry before all Elrond can think about is how good it is to see Legolas actually smiling, and Elrohir forgetting the cares of the world for a moment.  
  
"What did I tell you just moments ago?" he asks, mocking anger.  
  
"To go to bed," the two mumble at once.  
  
"Go on then," Elrond says, setting down the candle. Elrohir and Legolas crawl into bed, and Elrond kisses them both on the forehead, then says, "Try, just try, not to wake up anyone else?" for good measure. The boys grin. "Good night to you both."  
  
"Good night," the boys chorus just before the door closes, and they are in the dark again. For a while they lay quiet, listening to the rain drumming against the window and their blood pumping through their ears. Legolas lays his foot against Elrohir's leg, and Elrohir shrieks. "You are freezing!" he cries quietly. "Legolas!"  
  
"Sorry, Elrohir."  
  
"Are you tired?"  
  
With a yawn, he lies, "No."  
  
"Good night, Legolas."  
  
"Good night, Elrohir." For many minutes more they lay together, alone in the quiet and the dark, before Legolas finally curls towards his friend. "Elrohir?"  
  
"Yes, Legolas?"  
  
"I. . .I'm a bit frightened."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"The dark."  
  
Elrohir reaches out in the darkness and takes his friend's hand. Legolas feels safe suddenly, connected to Elrohir and safe because of it. He allows his eyelids to droop into the deeper sleep of the Elves; passing by the light, open-eyed repose. Before he knows it, Legolas has fallen asleep. Elrohir, lulled by the gentle breathing of his friend, is soon to follow.  
  
*****  
  
TBC 


	3. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any characters and/or places thereof  
  
Kit Cloudkicker: A lot of people are afraid of the dark. It's actually a fear of the unknown, usually, not the dark itself but what it conceals.  
  
Tadriendra of Mirkwood: Thanks. Yes, he is, it's supposed be symbolic but it came out so badly that you can just take it at face value.  
  
Soulsearcher: Yeah, gambols are great, aren't they? I like those scenes, too. It was supposed to be symbolism but came out badly.  
  
Slg: Always assured.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning, Elrohir pointedly does not wake Legolas up, but waits patiently. When Legolas does wake, it is to find a pair of grey eyes about two inches away from his own. For a moment he wonders what is going on, then it occurs to him, and he cries out, "Ai! Elrohir, you startled me!"  
  
"Scared you, more like!" replies Elrohir, practically bouncing up and down. Legolas yawns and begins very slowly to wake himself up, groggy despite his shock. "Come on, I want to eat something!" Elrohir exclaims. "And I would bet that you are hungry, too. Legolas! LegolasLegolasLegolas, come on!" This behavior bothers Legolas just slightly, as he is not at all used to such pleasure-filled beings, but he also finds it rather a comfort in some ways, also. Before he can meditate on this his hand is grabbed, and Elrohir begins dragging him from the room, down the corridor.  
  
Within moments Legolas is awake enough to keep up with Elrohir, and he does so, trotting along. As the two turn down one hall, shouts reach them. Elrohir ignores them, but Legolas glances through an open doorway to see what is going on. "Ah! Nana!" Arwen exclaims, reaching back to touch her hair. Celebrían sits behind her daughter, a brush in one hand and raven locks in the other.  
  
"I cannot help it, Arwen, if you insist upon squirming!" replies an exasperated Celebrían. It is clear from her tone that she has no intention of harming her daughter, but every intention of parting her hair.  
  
"But Nana, I--Legolas!" Having glanced up at just that moment, Arwen catches sight of him standing in the doorway, watching her, just slightly amused. She jumps to her feet and runs to hug him. "It is good to see you again, Legolas!" she says.  
  
"It is good to see you too, Arwen!" replies Legolas with earnest enthusiasm, lifting her into the air for just a moment before setting her down again. "You have gotten much bigger since last we met!"  
  
"One day I'll be as big as you and my brothers!" she announces, or promises. "Even bigger, maybe!"  
  
"That well may come to pass, Arwen," Legolas says. He kneels to be on the same level as his small companion before he continues, "but right now I think your Naneth needs to finish brushing your hair, and I have to take Elrohir to get something to eat before he gets to be grumpy."  
  
"All right," Arwen giggles. "Go on then, Legolas, I shall see you later. Namaarie for now, Legolas!"  
  
"Namaarie." Legolas stands, smiling once at Celebrían, who returns his smile. "Come on then, Grumpy," says Legolas to Elrohir, continuing down the hall.  
  
"Oh, you!" exclaims Elrohir, poking at his friend's stomach. Legolas dodges and Elrohir lunges yet again. In this manner they continue on down the hall, poke and dodge, until Legolas enters the dining hall at a full run, stopping short only to have Elrohir slam into him, toppling them both. "Get off of me!" Legolas commands playfully, shoving Elrohir over. The two pick themselves up, brush off their pyjamas, and look about.  
  
"Er. . ." Elrohir takes one look at his father and knows that he is either in very big trouble, or about to be told how incredibly funny he is being. "Good morrow, Ada!"  
  
"Good morrow, Elrohir," Elrond replies, smiling. "And good morrow, Legolas." To this Legolas inclines his head slightly. Elrond wonders, for moments before Legolas came crashing into the dining hall, and now he is not even speaking. What is going on with him? "So, I suppose you have both been out falling down staircases and playing with fire?"  
  
"Oh, of course!" Elrohir says with a grin. "And we thought now we would eat, because it is such a tiresome task and we should hate to have to take care of it later!"  
  
"Well, go on then," Elrond says, motioning, and the boys realize there are plates on the table already. "Did you really think I did not know you were awake? Honestly, a Balrog makes less noise than you two at once." He is just teasing them, but Legolas blushes deeply and mutters something about being sorry. "Only teasing, Legolas."  
  
"Oh--oh, of course, it--I knew that, of course," Legolas stammers, then decides he ought to be quiet right about now and begins to eat. Elrohir follows this lead, not out of embarrassment but out of hunger. However, it is only a matter of minutes before they are interrupted yet again, this time by Elrohir's identical twin brother, Elladan.  
  
"Legolas!" Elladan exclaims. "Here is a nice surprise, you in Imladris and all."  
  
"Oh. . .hello, Elladan," Legolas replies. Elladan drops down beside his brother and friend.  
  
"Listen, Legolas," he mutters as the four continue with their meal, "I know that before, I was. . .just a bit over-active. I apologize, I really do, and by my honor I am a changed Elf. Can you forgive me, if I ever made you uncomfortable?"  
  
"Of course I can," Legolas replies. He does not want to reply that the number of times Elladan made him uncomfortable is difficult to count, that the elder twin's constant liveliness sent shivers up his spine, that Elladan's loudness had haunted his dreams, because to say this would be extremely rude. If indeed Elladan is changed--and Legolas intends on giving him a fair chance--then perhaps Legolas and Elladan can be great friends after all. Elrohir had certainly changed, so who was to say that Elladan had not as well?  
  
"What are you boys going to do today?" Elrond asks, interrupting the silence.  
  
"Why not take Legolas to the pond?" Elladan suggests. "It is always fun after a storm."  
  
"Yes, but I think maybe we should not go to the pond, because it might rain again," Elrohir replies. In truth he only worries that Legolas will not want to go to the pond because swimming would mean revealing the old scars, which will never fully heal.  
  
"What are you talking about, it is a perfect day!"  
  
"Yes, isn't it odd how the sun always shines the brighter after it has rained?" Elrohir replies through clenched teeth. Why doesn't Elladan understand!  
  
"Wait! Drat! Oh, confound it all, I just realized--Elrohir, I have to go to the clearing about the other side of the valley--if that is all right with you, of course, Ada--I left something there last week and I need to go and get it back," Elladan says, in a very realistic impression of someone who has lost something.  
  
"All right, we can go with you," Elrohir replies. "What did you leave?"  
  
"Rope."  
  
"Oh, Elladan!" exclaim Elrond and Elrohir together. Elrond asks, "You were not trying to. . .? Elladan, please tell me you were not!"  
  
Elladan blushes deeply and mutters into his food, "I am very sorry, Ada."  
  
Before Legolas gets a chance to ask what Elladan is sorry for, Arwen comes bounding in, her hair plaited in one braid down her back, but already flying loose about her face. "Elladan!" she squeals, hugging him. "Legolas! Elrohir!" and she hugs them as well, before climbing onto the bench beside them. "What are we doing today?" she asks them excitedly.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir glance at each other. "We?" Elladan asks. Elrohir says, more gently, "Arwen, Elladan and I were going to spend the day with Legolas- -"  
  
"You hate me!" she wails. "You always want to be rid of me!"  
  
"No, no, Arwen, we do not hate you, not at all, we only--we just--" Elrohir struggles for a reasonable explanation. "Arwen, please, stop crying!" To everyone's surprise she does, then she fixes her gaze on each of them in turn and announces, "Well I don't like you either!" before storming out of the room.  
  
"Should somebody go after her?" asks Legolas.  
  
"Nah, Arwen is just being dramatic. She'll be all right, given an hour or two. Come on," Elladan says, wiping his hands on his trousers thoughtlessly as he stands up, his mouth still half full, "let's go and fetch that rope."  
  
"Yes, we ought to." Elrohir follows his brother out of the room, saying, "meet us outside, all right, Elladan?"  
  
"Yes, all right. . ." their voices fade away down the hall. Legolas is just about to follow them, when a light touch on his shoulder stops him.  
  
"Legolas, wait," Elrond says--does not command, but says. Legolas freezes. "Legolas. . .are you. . .all right?"  
  
"Why would I not be?" asks Legolas. He is worried now. Does he seem not all right?  
  
"When last I saw you, you were in a bad way," Elrond explains, "I only wanted to be sure you no longer were."  
  
"No, I am fine," Legolas replies.  
  
"Good, that is very good." After a pause, in which Elrond obviously has something to say but is not very willing to say it, the Elven lord says, "I do not mean to speak ill of your father and mother, Legolas, but you know. . .well, we are here for you, whenever you need."  
  
Legolas does not know what to say to this. He swallows hard, trying to think; what would be appropriate? "Er. . .thanks. . .but, with all respect, why?" he cannot help but ask.  
  
"I suppose," says Elrond, as though this were a perfectly normal question, "because I like you, Legolas. You are a thoroughly good and true person, with a very bright future. And even if this were not so, you are a brother to my son, and in this manner you are a son to me. It is difficult to explain matters of the heart, even I do not presume to understand them. Some things just need to be accepted."  
  
Legolas nods. "Yes, sir."  
  
"Go on then, the twins are waiting."  
  
*****  
  
"Elladan, what were you trying to do?" Legolas asks, and a just question. The rope that they have come to retrieve is stretched across a clearing, tied around two tree trunks, about six inches off the ground. Testing it, pressing one foot against it, Legolas finds that the rope is taut and springy.  
  
"Look," Elladan says, slightly annoyed, and he stands on the rope, his arms extended slightly for balance. As his friend and brother watch, Elladan takes one step forward, then another, walking slowly across the rope. To keep himself from panicking, he hums softly. One foot in front of the other, repeat, repeat, repeat. . .Elladan waits until he can press one palm firmly against the tree opposite where he started, then leaps from the rope to the ground, bowing with a flourish. "Not trying, my dear Legolas."  
  
"Of course, you fool, coming out here every day for Valar only know how long, you ought to be proficient by now!" Elrohir exclaims.  
  
Elladan grins. "I learned by moonlight," he says proudly.  
  
"Oh?" Legolas can think of nothing to say. All morning, as he and the twins headed for this clearing, and this rope, Legolas's thoughts remained on what Lord Elrond had told him. Even now, he is not completely with his friends. They both stare at him oddly, without realizing, and Legolas decides it is about time he snapped out of this daze. "May I have a go then, Elladan?" he asks, remembering the good feeling of a pounding heart from danger, or from breaking the rules.  
  
"Legolas!" Elrohir moans. "Elladan got caught sneaking out and is not even supposed to walk the rope himself, don't you go and try it."  
  
"Come on, Elrohir, it is only one time, nothing can happen!" Legolas exclaims. Elladan grins at him, but Elrohir looks at him strangely.  
  
"You used to have more sense than that."  
  
"This is only for a thrill," Legolas says quietly, pulling aside his friend. "Just one quick, cheap thrill. But Elrohir, if you really do not want me to do this. . ." he means to say 'you can just look away', but then something inside of him begins to swell, some feeling he identifies as gratitude, for the last time the two were together and everything Elrohir did, and Legolas suddenly knows the truth. "If you really do not want me to do this, just say the word and we can go back right now."  
  
Elrohir takes a deep breath. He would be uneasy if Legolas tried to walk the rope, and he knows it. However, they are yet young, and Legolas only seeks a thrill. He probably will not be hurt, and there is no need to spoil his fun. "No, Legolas, you should go," Elrohir forces himself to say. "If you want to, you should."  
  
Legolas looks into Elrohir's eyes. Everything is clear through the unguarded eyes of a child, and Legolas knows that Elrohir is only worried for him. Again, he feels that foreign stirring from within him. Elrohir saved my life, he thinks. Legolas turns back to Elladan, and Elrohir feels his heart leap into his throat. "Come on, Elladan, the sun is already high, let us take the rope and be gone."  
  
"Right," Elladan says with a nod, "right."  
  
*****  
  
TBC 


End file.
